“I think I just do not want to be your New York boyfriend,” Me.
“…….. Oh it is ok,…..” and then I did not even see the rest Taver texted.
“Cool, this one is finished,” Me.
I remember one of my old friends told me that she used to date a rich guy and that guy is rich because he can manipulate his own thoughts. Such as, not to think someone.
Do you remember a time? When you wake up, and then the first thing you can think about is your lover. Not boyfriend and girlfriend, because dating relationship has its contractual obligation but thinking about someone is very tricky.
You cannot make someone play someone’s video in your head and believe that you think about that person.
It can happen unless you muted.
Another friend told me another story. Remember one time when you break up, you felt that the pain just can tear your skin off your body? Well, once it is done, you are immuned.
“You promise me just me and you,” Mike.
“Yes, I do.”
“It is just me and you,” another.
“It is just me and you,” same lyrics repeats after many years again.
It was the 22-year-old version of myself. That summer I got very sick after Taver left. I felt I just felt having headache all the time and there was a block always felt when I swallow.
“Why not going to the doctor?” I asked myself.
“I do not have insurance.”
Yes, when the bill is high and even you have $ 10,000 in your bank, you kind of do not going to the hospital.
I went to CVS and asked what should I buy.
“Halls,” Teller.
It did not get better and I still felt dizzy all the time.
At the same time, I felt old. I did not know why, I just felt I was already 35 years old.
Good thing was that I was surrounding by good music. I later found out that Taver was a music producer who did tracks for celebrities. Only thing I felt our relationship could last longer was because he told me that he loves Madonna.
I thought fanning Madonna is a white gay thing, not even Latino. Asians, somewhat.
“Yes, with my sickness I can still get my MBA enrolled,” I was cheering myself.
You would not even believe that he was the only love of my life. That sort of love more fits the definition of “Bona Fide” Relationship.
“Where should we eat?” Me.
“Olive Garden,” Taver.
The next day we went to a non-chain restaurant and he paid for it. He ordered Juice and I ordered alcohol.
I just felt Applebee’s is a restaurant I would go for delivery but now eating there.
Why? No alcohol.
Or, it can be something like that the restaurant was for families so I should not order alcohol there.
He says he traveled here to watch the volleyball games.
I still remember the night I watched him leave and came back the second morning.
“I left because you were watching me and let me leave,” Taver.
“I knew you could control yourself. I just want you to feel that, last time that you can feel that was with me when I was gone. Plus, you did not purchase my plane tickets this time, so I have a say on whether I should spend the night with you or my buddies. My buddies!” Taver.
And then after the trip, he was still texting me regularly and I responded regularly. I thought long distance relationship will just be gone with time.
If someone told me now he was in the U.S. and was working in the U.S., I would definitely believe it.
3 days after he left and he messaged me. I just hated him leaving me home alone that night as I was not able to sleep.
“Hi, I just felt I don’t want to be your New York boyfriend no more,” Me.
Thereafter, I still sometimes heard from him.
Then he never messaged me again and I re-started the initiative. I just felt if he responds, then we still somewhat are friends.
After 2020, he was totally gone.
“Why did not you insist on it? It may succeed.”
“Oh, he is a Canadian,” Me.